Beginning of the end...err I mean beginning.

Well it's December 31st and I look back at the same time last year at the hope I had for this year to be the year that everything came together. And while things have come together in certain aspects of my life, sometimes I think I focused on things I maybe shouldn't have too much.

This year I've decided that I am going to put equal focus on the things in my life that I am trying to improve and cut out the things that are keeping me from attaining those goals. Things like advancing my career, getting healthy and getting love back in my life.

I guess I've always known what I wanted. But when other things are crumbling around you, it becomes increasingly harder to keep your eye on the prize when your mind and soul are continuously spinning out of control.

But in any case I am pushing all of that to the side and really turning a corner here. This last year has allowed me to start looking at the big picture and I'm definitely liking the view.

Couple of quotes I've seen recently that I thought made a lot of sense:
"Every exit is but an entrance to somewhere else"

and

"You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth."

Peace , Love and Everything You Want in the New Year. See you in 2009.

The last few days

Well I'm trying to do something everyday but that hasn't been the case so far. So I figured I'd throw out a few observations from over the weekend and Monday. So here goes....

I've had abolutely no patience with anyone lately. Especially with people at both jobs. I mean they expect me to be ready when they call me but half of them dont have their shit together when they call. And people at the gas station aren't the brightest or quickest on their feet either, it's like they leave their brains at the door. Dang I hate that shit!!

While at IHOP on a Saturday night, or really any night for that matter, the breakfast sampler is always a good choice. But stay away from the ukranians at the front door.

I have a wedding for a friend this New Years Eve. Part of me knows its gonna be a blast, but another part thinks it could be a bummer for me. I guess that answer depends on how quick I get drunk.

It suck's that this year's Superbowl Winner isn't even gonna be in the playoffs. I guess we still have the Celts and B's.

I've started to rethink this whole wishing I could go back in time thing. Maybe things do happen for a reason and we should look forward not backward.

And on a side note, this is my bathroom wall wisdom for the week-"Sometimes you can't face the sadness of being forgotten, until you've felt the comfort of being remembered again".

Quick thought

There's thinkers, and there's doers. I've been doing too much thinking lately, it looks like it's time to start doing.

And on a side note, I hate the river card in poker.

Thats all.

The first step

I didn't see it coming. I mean I should have....the writing has been on the wall, but I guess I just didn't read it. Will it be easy? Not Likely. But I think and more than that, hope, that it won't be as hard as in the past. I certainly hope so because I've tried my best to make sure of it. Barbed wire fence around my heart, mental blinders, a curious and keen mind, all safeguards in my attempt to not end up in my room for the next two weeks listening to city and colour's "bring me your love" on a non-stop loop, lol. Safeguards that for all intent and purposes have, for at least the time being, done their job. Now as the new year approaches, so does a very scary prospect, getting myself back out there and out of the shadow of what's really been a pipe dream in my own mind. Who's fault is that? No one's but my own. I barely got through the process last time and find myself three years older and struggling to comprehend what someone else might see in me, when I'm not sure of the same thing myself. How do I genuinely give my heart to someone new when it's pointed me towards someone else for so long. These are both tough questions no doubt, but questions with answers nonetheless. Answers that, while hard to formulate in my mind right now, need to be found in order for me to take the next step and move on to the next chapter.